fun – @derblub

A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millennia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

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What if Visual Studio supported achievements, just like games on Steam, Xbox or PS3? Bragging to your coworkers about which one you’ve just unlocked, imagine that!

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Here’s a little proposed list for some of them. .NET / C# flavored, of course.

Falling Down – Created a new SharePoint project
Job Security – Written a LINQ query with over 30 lines of code
The Sword Fighter – 5 Consecutive Solution Rebuilds with zero code changes
Shotgun Debugging – 5 Consecutive Solution Rebuilds with a single character change
The Mathematician – Defined 15 local variables with a single character name
The Academic – Written 1000 lines of F#
Spaghetti Monster – Written a single line with more than 300 characters
Wild One – Mixed tabs and spaces for indentation more than 5 times in a single line
The Organizer – Created a Solution with more than 50 projects
The Portal – Created a circular project dependency
The Multitasker – Have more than 50 source files open at the same time
The Code Keeper – Uninstalled Resharper because it made you redundant
Pasta Chef – Created a class with more than 100 fields, properties or methods
Procedural Programmer – Created a method with more than 10 out parameters
Steam Powered – Added Visual Studio as a Steam game
The Poet – Written a source file with more than 10,000 lines
The Enterprise – Build Solution took more than 10 minutes
Highway to Hell – Successfully created a WCF service
The Explainer – Written a comment with more than 100 words
TPS Reports – Created a Crystal Reports Project
Rage Quit – ALT+F4 after a failed bug fix
Ooooh Shiny – Written 100 extensions methods
Look Ma – Written an infinite Fibonacci generator using yield
The Engineer – Killed a zombie with The Wrench
The Architect – Created 25 Interfaces in a single project
The Right Way – Test method is longer than the tested method
The Defender – Checked every argument for null exceptions
Pokemon Programming – Caught all the exceptions
Black Magic – Implemented a RealProxy
Gimme back my ASM – Used ILGenerator
I’m Sorry – Created a new Visual Basic Project
The SEO Expert – ASP.NET MVC Routing table with more than 100 routes
The Matrix – Windows Forms with more than 100 controls
The Daredevil – UpdatePanels nested more than 3 layers deep
Just a Test – Nested multiline C-style comments that caused a compilation error
Warm Bath – Successfully consumed a non .NET SOAP web service
Old School – Defined more than 100 static objects
The Cloner – Copy-pasted more than 50 lines
The Dependency – Referenced more than 30 projects
Paying the bills – Imported a Visual Basic project
First Hit – Included a Codeproject.com library into your project and it actually compiled
Paula – Define a firstname field with value Brillant
Every Option Considered – Created an enum with more than 30 values

via while true blog.

Exploits of a Mom: